Real strength starts when you stop carrying it alone.
Counselling For Young Men - 16 Years & Above
Support for the issues facing young men today
Growing up has never been simple.
But young men today are trying to work out who they are while dealing with pressure coming from almost every direction.
School.
Study.
Work.
Money.
Family expectations.
Friendships.
Relationships.
Social media.
Body image.
Sex.
The future.
Trying to fit in.
Trying to stand out.
Trying to work out what you're actually supposed to do with your life.
For some young men, those pressures are manageable.
For others, things can gradually become overwhelming.
You might become angry more easily.
Stop caring about school or work.
Spend more time alone.
Lose confidence.
Feel constantly anxious.
Start getting into trouble.
Sleep all day.
Stay awake half the night.
Or simply feel like nobody really understands what is going on.
Sometimes a young man doesn't need another person telling him what he should be doing.
He needs somewhere he can actually talk about what is happening.
What Can Young Men Be Dealing With?
There isn't one issue that brings a young person to counselling.
It might be:
- Anxiety or constant overthinking.
- Low mood or depression.
- Anger and emotional outbursts.
- Family conflict.
- Separation or divorce within the family.
- Bullying or cyberbullying.
- Friendship problems.
- Relationship difficulties or break-ups.
- School or study pressure.
- Losing motivation at school, TAFE, university or work.
- Uncertainty about career or future direction.
- Low confidence or self-esteem.
- Feeling like they don't fit in.
- Social isolation or loneliness.
- Pressure from social media.
- Body image concerns.
- Alcohol or drug use.
- Gaming or online habits that are becoming difficult to manage.
- Grief or loss.
- Difficult or traumatic experiences.
- Feeling under pressure to meet other people's expectations.
- Not knowing what they want from life.
Sometimes there is one obvious problem.
Sometimes there are five things happening at once.
And sometimes the young person himself can't really explain why he isn't coping the way he used to.
That's okay.
He doesn't need to arrive with a diagnosis or a perfectly organised explanation.
When Something Seems to Have Changed
Parents and carers often notice behaviour before they know what is behind it.
A young man who used to talk might become quiet.
Someone who was easy-going becomes angry.
Grades start slipping.
He stops seeing friends.
He sleeps at strange hours.
He gives up sport or something he used to enjoy.
He spends nearly all of his time in his room.
Every conversation turns into an argument.
Or you simply have the feeling:
“Something isn't right.”
Changes like these don't automatically mean there is a mental health condition.
Adolescence and early adulthood involve enormous change.
But when changes continue, cause distress or begin affecting everyday life, relationships, education or work, it can be worth finding out what is happening rather than waiting for things to become worse.
When You're the Young Person Reading This
Maybe somebody else suggested counselling.
Your parents.
School.
A partner.
A doctor.
A social worker.
Maybe you decided to look for yourself.
Either way, counselling isn't supposed to be another place where someone lectures you.
You don't have to know exactly what to talk about.
You don't have to tell your whole life story in the first session.
And you don't have to pretend everything is terrible if it isn't.
You can talk about what's actually happening.
What annoys you.
What you're worried about.
What's happening at home.
What's happening with your mates.
What you want to change.
What you don't want to change.
Or the fact that you aren't really sure why you're there.
“I don't know” is still somewhere to start.
The Pressure to Have Everything Worked Out
Young people are expected to make some big decisions before they have had much time to work out who they are.
What subjects or what course?
University, TAFE or a Trade?
What career?
Where do you want to be in five years?
For some young men, those questions are motivating.
For others, they create enormous pressure.
You may look around and think everyone else knows where they're heading.
They don't.
People change direction.
Careers change.
Priorities change.
What seems right at 18 may not be what you want at 25.
Counselling can help separate:
What do other people expect from me?
from:
What do I believe is important, responsible and worth working towards?
The aim isn't to give you the answer.
It's to help you become clearer about your own.
Social Media, Comparison and Never Really Switching Off
Young people today don't only deal with what happens at school, work or socially.
A lot of it follows them home.
Phones mean friendship, arguments, popularity, exclusion, news, comparison and other people's lives can be present almost constantly.
Social media can be entertaining and connecting.
It can also make it very easy to compare your ordinary day with everyone else's best moments.
Looks.
Relationships.
Money.
Fitness.
Cars.
Travel.
Success.
Popularity.
You can start feeling behind without even being sure what race you're supposed to be running.
Heavy social media use has been associated with poorer mental wellbeing for some young people, and cyberbullying can have significant mental-health impacts.
The answer isn't necessarily throwing your phone away.
It can be learning to notice when something that is supposed to connect or entertain you is starting to make you feel worse.
Anger Doesn't Always Mean Anger Is the Whole Problem
For some young men, distress comes out as anger.
Arguments.
Punching a wall.
Snapping at parents.
Getting into fights.
Losing control.
Or becoming angry over things that don't seem big enough to explain the reaction.
Sometimes anger is the main issue.
Other times, there can be stress, anxiety, embarrassment, hurt, rejection, family problems or feeling completely overwhelmed sitting underneath it.
That doesn't excuse aggressive or harmful behaviour.
But understanding what is happening underneath a reaction can help a young man learn to handle it differently.
How Counselling Can Help
Young men are individuals.
What helps one person may not help another.
Counselling gives a young man somewhere to talk with somebody who isn't there to mark his work, discipline him, choose his career or tell him who he should become.
Depending on what is happening, counselling may help him:
- Make sense of what he is feeling.
- Understand anger or strong emotional reactions.
- Manage anxiety, worry and stress.
- Build confidence.
- Deal with family or relationship difficulties.
- Work through grief, change or difficult experiences.
- Develop healthier ways of coping.
- Understand habits that may be creating problems.
- Improve communication.
- Work through school, study or work pressure.
- Think more clearly about choices and consequences.
- Rebuild motivation.
- Understand what matters to him.
- Develop a stronger sense of direction.
The aim isn't to turn a young man into somebody he isn't or expect him to never make mistakes.
It's to help him understand himself better and make choices that help rather than hurt him.
If You're a Parent, Carer or Professional Looking for Support
Sometimes the person searching for counselling isn't the young man himself.
You may be a parent who is worried.
A carer.
A teacher or social worker.
A GP.
Or somebody else involved in supporting him.
You may know something is wrong while he insists he's fine.
That can be difficult.
Especially when pushing harder seems to make him pull further away.
Counselling can provide a separate space where the young person can begin developing his own relationship with support.
Privacy and trust are particularly important for young people seeking health support. What is confidential, what may need to be shared and the limits around confidentiality should be explained clearly as part of the counselling process. Australian youth-health guidance recognises that privacy can help young people feel able to speak openly, while also acknowledging circumstances where safety or legal responsibilities may require information to be shared.
Supporting a young person doesn't always mean knowing everything that is said in counselling.
Sometimes the goal is helping him have one place where he feels able to say what is actually going on.
You Don't Need to Wait Until Things Become a Crisis
Early support matters.
You don't need to wait until a young man stops attending school, loses a relationship, gets into serious trouble or reaches breaking point.
Sometimes the starting point is simply:
“He's not himself lately.”
Or from the young man:
“Everything's getting on top of me.”
“I can't stop thinking.”
“I'm angry all the time.”
“I don't know what I'm doing with my life.”
“Things at home are bad.”
Or even:
“I don't really want counselling, but I'll give it a go.”
That's enough to start.
Growing Up Doesn't Require Having Everything Figured Out
Young adulthood is a time when a lot is changing at once.
Relationships.
Identity.
Independence.
Work.
Education.
Responsibilities.
The future.
There will be mistakes.
Wrong decisions.
Changes of direction.
Relationships that don't work.
Plans that change.
None of that means the future has been decided.
Counselling can provide somewhere to stop, understand what is happening and work out what the next useful step might be.
A young man doesn't need to have his whole future worked out.
Sometimes he just needs help with what's happening right now.
Men's Online Counselling Australia
Confidential online counselling for men across Australia.
“Change can begin with one step. We're here to walk alongside you as you move forward.”